afflictionmods | CYOA

[ Well. Okay. Yeah. Hien isn't gonna get out a knife right now, but. ]

What are you doing here? This place isn't good for a badger nest.

[ Said very seriously. ]

[... you know what, this is not even the weirdest thing that has happened to him in his life. He can roll with this.]

Have we met before?

[He's not really expecting an answer to this, but you know what, it doesn't hurt to ask.]

[ This is your life now, gang. The badger looks at all four of you inquisitively, before looking at the markings on your arms. ]

Hm. Perhaps. This world is barren, though. I'm surprised you've managed to survive it.

[ It doesn't sound as calm as the Lorelei you know does. It sounds a little frazzled, actually.

Behind it, the apartment complex starts to slowly crumble. ]

I'm fed up with this place, actually. Aren't you?

Edited 2022-07-04 02:21 (UTC)

[ He whispered loudly because half of them were on the other side!

BUT WAIT, if this is maybe Lorelei... Chongyun covers his eyes. ]

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to stare at your bare form. Pardon. [ Said in a normal voice now. He's not exactly embarrassed, but it seems frazzled and he's trying to be polite. ] Honestly, it was a close call several times. I'm sure we're all ready to go home.

[ sabo will just let chongyu do what chongyun wants to do in regards to covering his eyes. he'll frown ever so slightly when the apartment crumbles behind them. was it really in that disrepair??? ]

We're a resilient group.

[ actually what is the state around them like? is it barren other than the leaves and potential crumbling buildings? ]

...but yes. I wouldn't oppose being able to go home soon.

[ granted he still wants to make sure people are all okay? there are people now wandering around estelline but it still doesn't feel right. ]

The stairs I was going down on is pretty much collapsing so it would be better to make your nest elsewhere. Let's go somewhere else. You got a name?

[ If the badger says it's Lorelei, Hien might lose his shit internally. ]

[HMM DON'T LIKE THIS. Marcus eyes the crumbling apartment warily and thinks back to ten years ago as the Voidstorm spread across the world...]

Fed up with this place? Now you're speaking my language. I've been "fed up with this place" ever since I arrived.

[And he's fairly certain he's far from the only one.]

[ It blinks at Chongyun's apology. ]

"Bare form?" What, am I not wearing any clothes?

[ ??? Anyway, it looks a little pleased at the new group's agreement, and it turns its snout towards another location: Lower campus. ]

We can go there. Though...the world may as well crumble to dust at this rate. I wouldn't complain. It sounds like you all understand.

[ It sounds quite bitter, actually, and it looks over at Hien as it gestures the group to follow. ]

You know who I am by now. Well, at least a part of me. Come on, now, let's get going.

Edited 2022-07-04 03:06 (UTC)

[ Squints contemplatively behind his hands. ]

I wouldn't know. [ Is the answer he comes up with that's honest. He doesn't want to get slapped by a badger for acting crude. ] Is the rest of you there? ... Are you a spirit?

[ He has to add that last bit because /gestures. ]

[ ?? ???? ???

we really just gonna casually accept that the world is going to be crumbling around them like this? sabo's not thrilled about the idea of a whole ass world just crumbling like that but...he'll keep his head down. ]

Right.

[ once they eventually get started towards the lower campus: ]

Can you further explain what is happening here? It didn't seem like it was crumbling before.

[ Hien follows them out and there's a long blink. ]

Are you somehow... a part of Lorelei that was discarded or suppressed by the Suppression chip?

[Marcus is looking decidedly uncomfortable at the badger's words by now, though he's doing his best to conceal it. "Crumble to dust," huh... well, it's not like he hasn't seen that much happen before...]

Is there anything we can do to stop it from crumbling?

[Then, a beat:]

Do you want to stop it from crumbling?

[ To Chongyun, as it starts to scurry a little quicker towards the university: ]

The rest of me is there. Incomplete, but there. As for myself here...I am a part of the "self". It's as he said, [ it gestures to Hien. ] and as for the concern regarding this world: None of it is needed. This is not real. We are simply looking at remnants of a world being destroyed by flawed ideals, including my own. It's quite a bittersweet sight.

[ ...Poor Sabo and Marcus, tbh. ]

You're angry at it, too, aren't you?

[ Don't you wanna just go apeshit-- ]

Edited 2022-07-04 04:02 (UTC)

[ Following the sound of its voice and movement. ]

Isn't there a concern that these remnants might leak into what we consider the physical world? They're not entirely unconnected; our being here proves it. The boundary must be blurred somehow.

[ i cannot believe lorelei's spirit animal is a badger. though i guess its fair since honey badgers don't give a shit.

also we don't need to ask sabo if he's angry about anything. that wouldn't actually go well for anyone involved so lets just go with the part that makes him think less about any potential anger issues he may or may not have. ]

Yeah, just as Chongyun's said. Is really none of it needed? [ he'll tilt his head to a side. ] I understand the concept of letting flawed ideals go, but to see it carried out this way seems wrong.

[ Cool. This badger is part of Lorelei's self.

...

What in the absolute fuck.

Hien just stays quiet while the others do their questioning. He has nothing important to add, but it looks like he's deep in thought. This situation is pinging his existence way too much in the same way someone telling him "I hate myself" makes him feel irrationally irritated. ]

[That... sounds uncomfortably like something Phil would say, at least the first part about the flawed ideals. Phil, however, would be fighting for that world to the very end, no matter how hopeless or foolish it might be.]

Doesn't this world mean anything to you? Don't you have any happy memories... any things that you don't want to see disappear? Flawed as it may be, I don't believe for one second that its existence doesn't have any meaning. Maybe not to you, but to someone else.

Hmmm. I'm not sure about the impact on the real world, but...

[ It seems to think on this, for a little while. All of it, actually. The apartment building starts to collapse behind them; it keeps moving forward. ]

Well, you aren't wrong about everything else... I would not have tried what I did if there wasn't any meaning to this world.

[ The emotion in how its speaks with Lorelei's voice is foreign...and it stops in place just before it touches ground on the university. ]

Humor me. Do you have a reason to keep it going? What about your memories? You aren't from here, I understand, but I'm just curious. You've left your mark here, so your experiences surely are valuable.

Edited 2022-07-04 04:58 (UTC)

There is always a reason to keep going. I don't regret any of the experiences I've had here. If anything, I've grown as a person for the good people I've met and the words they have given me.

[ Eh, he could do without the lessons though. ]

Do you have what it takes to keep going, despite what it's cost you and this world so far?

[ why do the past few weeks feel like they're bullying him into really examining certain parts of himself. honestly the question of what reason that keeps him going—here? that's easy but at the same time... well. ]

You may not know but I have a complicated relationship with my memories so I'd do anything to protect them.

[ sometimes you forget half of your life for...half of your life so any prospects of losing his memories again to any degree are far from desirable. ]

I'm not someone who is very keen on allowing myself to forget things. So, if this destruction is also a stand in for memories being destroyed then I can't say that I'd let it go.

[ Hien finally snaps out of it in time to process the badger's question. ]

Yeah.

[ No hesitation. ]

Experiences and memories make up who you are. They're vital.

And I'm a mirrite-- I was quite literally shaped by someone else's experiences and memories. I'm the me I am because of it.

[Because of Phil's complicated feelings towards First Ix and all that involves.

If he were to die, and Phantom were to resummon him instead of Phil... would he really still be himself? He's not sure about that.]

So I think my opinion on that matter goes without saying.

[ To Chongyun: ]

Of course I am. I prefer to move forward, but surely you understand how anger goes, don't you?

[ Yeah.

...There's a little rumble in the ground, but for what it's worth, the apartment complex has stopped crumbling completely. ]

I'm surprised at how calm you all are about this. It's strange. I anticipated that you'd be more hostile towards everything this place is and the people in it.

I do understand, but that's why I work so hard to tame my emotions. Anger is not the only option, and while it may affect our actions, at the end of the day, we can choose to use it for other, more productive means. To fuel our resolve, for example. As a lesson to be learned. As a reason to burn away all doubt.

[ He tilts his head and makes a confused noise behind his hands. ]

Why? I bear no grudge toward the people who are lost here. If there are people in need of help, and if we can help, then we should help. It's as simple as that to me.

[ oh. sabo's not going to miss how that apartment isn't falling apart at all. that is...definitely going to be a good thing, yes? he tilts his head a bit as he looks to hien and marcus for a moment. you guys seeing this too, right? ]

And as angry as I can be—could be—there are far more productive ways to deal with things than throwing fits like Chongyun said.

[ admittedly, some of what sabo would do to redirect his anger is far less mindful but he's never been someone who hasn't had a fire burn inside of him. ]

Not to mention, in the beginning until now, I don't think any of us really hold any kind of true hostility towards one another. [ hmm. ] Even for the people who decided to betray others. The lingering resentment isn't worth it.

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