[ why do the past few weeks feel like they're bullying him into really examining certain parts of himself. honestly the question of what reason that keeps him going—here? that's easy but at the same time... well. ]

You may not know but I have a complicated relationship with my memories so I'd do anything to protect them.

[ sometimes you forget half of your life for...half of your life so any prospects of losing his memories again to any degree are far from desirable. ]

I'm not someone who is very keen on allowing myself to forget things. So, if this destruction is also a stand in for memories being destroyed then I can't say that I'd let it go.